Where yo Mama?

So, you're at the fair with your 5 kids, your nephew, and the cousin from across the street. You are keeping track of kids, letting the older ones go from ride to ride and checking in every 20 or so minutes.

You keep really good track of the little ones....21 months, 5, 7, and 9. As in 'you don't leave my sight' kind of track of them.

Yes, we are in BFE, yes it's a small 'everyone knows everyone else' kinda place, but hey, people lurk in THESE kinds of places for THAT.VERY.REASON.

So, at the little kid motorcycle ride, I have my 2 littlest ones. My BIL has his son and my 7 y.o on another ride. Here comes this doe eyed little boy. Bawling his eyes out. He MIGHT be 4.

Yeah. You guessed it.

"Where is your Mommy?" I asked.
"I don't know!!!" He blurts out and starts to wander again. I took his hand. I offered to stay with him while we found her. Another woman says to him "I think your mom is Jill, right?"

Nodding. Ok, so we're looking for his mom. I have no clue who she is. I put him and my 2 littlest on the motorcycle ride. Now I can watch him, without hanging on to him for dear life. We wait.

She is still looking for the mom.
I get a generic description of her and send my husband and BIL off to look for the strawberry blonde-hair in a clip-pregnant chick who SHOULD be frantically looking for her son.

She wasn't.

Are you fucking serious?

I had this kid a good 10 minutes. At least.

He gets off the ride, she walks up and hugs him. She walks off. I'm dumbfounded.

Hey lady, I found your kid. I didn't molest him, I didn't rape him, I didn't kill him. I didn't drive him 2 states away and buzz his hair off. You're fucking welcome.

100 Days

100 days of just memories. 100 days of missing good morning kisses. 100 days of missing bedtime snuggles. 100 days of nothing but pictures and memories and tears.

Talking to Jenny tonight, going through pictures, remembering funny chats and laughing, only to be brought back to tears again, and again. Megan, you were a light in my life, half a country away.

I miss your smile, your little fuzzy head, your big as the entire world smiles, and your hippo teeth. I miss exchanging stories with your mama about the things you and Declan did that were so similar and some so very different. I watch Declan now and think about how I could be getting a picture sent to me of you doing the exact same thing, and then I realize that I won't get any more of your pictures.

Stand up and be counted

.......or just let everyone walk all over your dumb ass.

Among a few other 'choice' things that I would like to think that I am teaching my kids...standing up hard and tall for your beliefs is one of them. Is that so hard for the world to understand? I mean... well. I can 'say' until I am blue in the face, and people will agree ' oh yeah!!! everyone should stand up for their beliefs..' until they are faced with a family dilemma that involves them and your moral fiber.

****************************************


In other news:
~We built a bunk bed this weekend. We aren't happy with it. We will be reinforcing said bunkbed next weekend. Now....the daunting task in front of me this week is to keep 2 little girls off the brand new bed. Joy.
~Walking the dog every night for an hour has been good for my ass, but bad for my shins.
~The boys graduated to lawn duty. w00t! w00t!
~My Lily has like 9 buds on it. - that is super awesome, fantastic, cool.


****************************************


On a side note, I walked into the 1/2" drill bit and gouged a small hole in the top of my foot. How did that happen...I know you're wondering. Was I barefoot? Yes. Did my husband chide me for being barefoot on a 'construction' scene? Yes. Want to know the goofiest thing about it? Had I been wearing my flipflops, the top strap would have totally protected my foot, being as that is where the gouge was. So...flipflops do RULE! THE! WORLD!

errr.....they would if they were ever given the proper opportunity.


OOHHHH YEAH!!! Its like lightning! yeah yeah yeah!

Randomly just shouting or singing bits and pieces of songs has to have a name, right? Almost like tourettes, but um...not. Right? I found myself in the grocery store this afternoon, humming the Superman theme song while looking for wheat tortillas. I wash the baby's hair and I'm singing parts of Bad Romance to her.What.The.Fuck.

Do I need an intervention? If so..do I get to invite the people I want?

Can we have apple taffy pizza at this intervention? LOL



****************************************



I tell you what....umm... the mood is passed. I was in such a blogging mood, then I wasted time watching tv, playing around, looking through FB pictures....so now I'm not in the mood any more.

Maybe later.

Rambling

So lots of stuff sitting on my mind, making me think too much!

First, I want to talk about Megan. Jenny told me that SUDC is the final answer for her death. What a cheap, stupid, cop out answer. No reason?! No reason why this baby princess girl had to go? What the FUCK. It doesn't make it easier to accept her being gone at all. There is no closure. There is NOTHING. It just makes me so sick at heart to know this. I'm not even her Mama, but the final answer to her death made me bawl. I just don't 'get' it.

I see my girls, mainly Declan, and I think of Jenny, Michael, Emily, and Megan daily. They won't get to see her climbing in a pantry to dig down her yogurt snacks. She won't get to crawl over and lay on Trixie like Declan lays on Bolt.

This morning, Gaige straightened her, Griffen's,and Rourke's hair. Declan was knocking, knocking, knocking on the bathroom door. "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaige" I told them to let her in. She was on cloud 9 to be included. They paraded in here with newly straightened (and long!!!) hair. I oohed and aahed appropriately. I ran my fingers through Rourke's hair and said it was so pretty. She walked off. I heard Declan. She backed herself up to me to rub her hair too.

I am just so disgusted that Jenny won't get that. Emily will never pretend to straighten her baby sister's hair. Computer friend or not, I still feel such a powerful loss that it hurts!

I just feel guilty for enjoying Declan so much when I know that Megan is gone. They were so much alike, our little baby baldie princess girls. <3 Megan!!



Another thing, is the house stuff. We have lumber for bunk beds. We have a front door. We have tile and grout. We have cabinet doors. Where to start?! When?! Where is the time?! - where can you buy time? You can't. We got a freaking pool that we can't use because we have to have someone haul in dirt and sand to level it out. When??? The kids want to swim and they can't. I want the door in. I want the floor finished. I can't wait to put the floor in the garage reno. I want that damn laundry room!! I can almost taste it! And...the laundry room is tasting really good! (sicko) I can't wait to not have the damn washer in the kitchen.

See - it DOESN'T belong here!


The girls and I sat down last night and designed the bunk beds, the loft bed, and the shelving system to go in the corner for the cubbies and TV cabinet. They are so excited. I'm excited too, I can't wait to get stitches over this. (yeah....I'm sure that's a given) We've designed a shoe cubby for under the loft bed. I am looking forward to the floor space clearing out with all the new storage they are going to have. Yay storage!

They are still totally loving their bedding that I made them, and I am considering making some for my own bed after I do some up for the boys! Cheap, easy, looks super great, and I get to brag on it. Can it get any better?




And, to end this on a positive note, we are going to take a walk to get ice cream!

blah blah blah

Wintertime fun - who knew we'd still not be in the swing of spring at almost the END of May......




but that's just me...complaining about stupid, dumb shit.

I really didn't have anything to blog about, so I'll just start off by rambling.

That picture actually cracks me up. Gaige with the shovel of snow and her 'Ima throw this on you!' And Bolt in his 'RAAAWWRRRR!' pose.


Kids and dogs....... LOL

My arm hurts. Why? I gave blood today...which is no biggie, I do it all the time, but weirdly, my arm hurts (a lot) and I'm getting a bruise. Ugh.

This is the definition of comfortable:




Who wants to be 'that' cat? LOL