Snow days are the bane of my existance

Yeah. This much snow is what is keeping my kids home. It's keeping me home. It's wittling away at my sanity. My last nerve. Really. It is.

Ha.

I remember as a kid...you lived for snow days. You got up at the crack of dawn, you got dressed, you played outside until your fingers were frostbitten. You stayed outside until you were threatened with bodily harm if you did not come inside. You made up games. You skated on the frozen cow pond. You had snow ball fights.

What you did not do was: sleep until 11, with your mom banging on the walls threatening you bodily harm if you didn't finally get your lazy butt out of bed. You did not whine about not getting to watch your favorite show. Again. You did not whine about anything. Why? Because YOU! WEREN'T! IN! THE! HOUSE!

I finally had to put the kids to work. Fold the laundry. Clean your room. Vacuum the rug. Feed the dog. Feed the rabbits. Swap the laundry. Clean the bathroom. These kids did not ask to go outside. Make a snowman? ARE YOU NUTS?! It's COLD!!! outside!

Noooo! We'd rather sit in the house and bicker about who got to use the most nail polish. Because you do know, that hogging nail polish is probably punishable by death in other countries. I'm not fully educated on those laws, so at our house, it just gets your nail polish thrown in the trash if it causes too much of a commotion.

I remember thinking that snow was gorgeous. It was glorious. It was BEAUTIFUL! Now, as a grown up, I know what snow is. It's crap. It's a wet floor waiting to happen. It's dirty and mucky and slimy and just plain gross. It's the shit that glues your car doors shut so not only are you cold, but you look like a moron while you are trying to pry your door open. It's the shit that soaks the bottom of your jeans if you are like me and happen to be just a hair shorter than EVERY.ONE.ELSE.IN.THE.WORLD. It's the shit that makes you feel guilty, yes, guilty! for putting your 120lb dog outside to do his business. He'll give you that look that says 'hey mom, where's my coat?! do you seriously want me to go out in that?! for real! are you nuts?!' Yes...guilt.

Snow means that there is no running outside. It means that you try to drag your self up on the treadmill to knock out 3 quick miles and about 1/3 of the way into the first mile, you realize that you keep your house entirely too hot to do anything but lay around panting. I know how the Lions in Africa feel now. It means that when you turn the heat off, open the living room window, and kick the ceiling fan up on high, you will have the kids, the dog, and the people driving down the street looking at you like you've lost your ever lovin mind.

I think that if there is another snow day....it's going to mean Captain Morgan and Coke.

Good night! =)